Saturday, August 13, 2011

The Road Less Traveled is Less Traveled Cuz It's Hard!!!

So, my life has been filled with quite a few ups-and-downs in the past two years.  I lost a job, found a part-time job, volunteered more, went back to school...part-time job became full-time job, volunteering less, school is full-time, hubby and I are down to one car, filed bankruptcy, etc.  Each quarter, we brace to see if our interest rate has gone up, which will determine if we keep our house, and I have an unavoidable surgery coming up this year forever solidifying my inability to have children (naturally). 

So...what do I think about all is this???

God...

Is...

Good...

And...

He...

Is...

Faithful!!!

Some of you may find that surprising.  Indeed.  I suppose it could be surprising to find out that Bill and I are stronger in our marriage than ever before, our faith lives are more focused now, and the clarity with which we view major decisions and obstacles is better than we could have hoped.  All of this in spite of the curve balls that flew at our faces for the past two years.  Wow!
 18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God.  --Romans 8:18-19
When I reflect upon these things, I am not, however, filled with awe over our  (me and Bill) response.  Sure, we experienced a few tense moments while all this began, but not very often.  In fact, when I think about all that we've endured and the things still to come, I do not feel panicked or accursed in any way.  On the contrary, I feel closer to God.  I finally, for the first time, understand that my faith MUST be unwavering ESPECIALLY during the times of uncertainty and in the midst of struggles.

Does this mean I am free of all worries?  

Am I am impervious to doubt?

No.  I am human, after all.  Rather, I know that through it all...through everything, God is with me...with us...and regardless of the battles we must endure, His perfect and permissive Will shall overcome all. 
 28 And we know that [k]God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.  --Romans 8:28
As long as we are obedient to Him...to our Catholic faith...to His desire for our lives, then all things will be revealed in time.  In HIS time.  My journey of faith has allowed me to realize this after many years of struggling with relinquishing control. 

9 However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. 10 If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is [d]alive because of righteousness. 11 But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies [e]through His Spirit who dwells in you. --Romans 8:9-11
It certainly doesn't mean I am perfect in that faith.  I still have "bad days" when I am cranky, moody, or even succumb to tears.  But, God placed amazing people in my life to help lift me up in those weak moments.  He does that for all of us if only we will choose to see it.  Even in our loneliness, He finds a way to be with us...to give us some sort of comfort and quiet strength.  All that I've endured has led me to believe this wholeheartedly. 

I pray for those who are unkind to me, I pray for my own strength and forgiveness of my own shortcomings and sins, and I pray for the ability to forgive others their trespasses.  Always.  The more I allow myself to follow HIS WILL and not my own, the more attacks I notice coming my way.  At times, from the most unexpected of places.  But, I will not give into despair, nor turn away from what God has asked because I know He will guide me and help me to weather the upcoming storms.

37 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  --Romans 8:37-39
Peace be with you.