Responsibility and Accountability

I realize that each person is their own barometer when it comes to right and wrong. Meaning that we all have God nudging us one way or the other, but ultimately, we make our own decisions and let the pieces fall where they may. I also am well aware (being a convert) that it is not only the Catholic faith that holds a high standard for morality and justice. However, I do note that since embarking on this journey of faith, I feel that I am more accountable for my actions...a higher sense of responsibility is ever present in my life.

Catholicism is more than going to Mass every week. It's more than prayer and experiencing the Eucharist. It's a way of life...something that is present in your day-to-day life and something that leads you, rather than you leading it. Hard to explain, I know. I'm trying to find the right words to give you a better picture of what I'm thinking. Hmmmm....

It's like before I was Catholic, I understood the basics of things...be nice, do not covet, help those in need, no sex before marriage, yadda-yadda. However, since coming into the Church and even on my journey prior to being Catholic (but in the process) I have found a stronger sense of those very things. I find myself thinking about my faith before I make any decision. It drives me and I cannot fathom making a major or life-changing decision and not including my faith.

The Church teaches us that we must do more than simply accept Christ as our Lord and Savior. We must do more than simply "live a good life" and "be kind." It's about going out into our community and serving others. Not only our neighbors and friends, but complete strangers. It's about serving our spouse, our family and our community. It's about humbling ourselves and remembering that we're "not all that." It's about giving even when it's uncomfortable or inconvenient to do so. It's about putting ourselves out there and not only focusing on OUR needs and OUR wants. Being Catholic brings these things to the forefront each and every day.

I have learned to treasure life more. At the same time, I have to be careful because I also find myself becoming displeased with certain aspects of it to the point of distraction. For instance, I have such a desire to help others that I become distracted during the workday at times. I don't feel as though I'm making a difference and it frustrates me. However, as most of us do, I need my job and it is wise for me to keep that in mind and not discontinue performing well. I realize this, but it still discourages me sometimes when I think of all the things I could do if only I had the time and money. Ah yes, the all-elusive dollar always finds a way in, doesn't it?

It's a struggle that is not uncommon, I'm sure. We all struggle with things. But I must remember and keep in mind that performing poorly at my job will not help anyone. Especially if I were to become so distracted as to lose focus completely, ultimately leading to a dismissal. That would only bring harm upon my own family through stress and the inability to pay bills. Something to certainly keep in mind.

So, what is the solution? I suspect that I need to pray and listen to what GOD wants and stop focusing on my desires. Distraction is just that...distraction...regardless if it's for a good cause. We must all find ways to serve God regardless of our hectic schedules and things that seem to pull us in a million different directions. Difficult, I know. But, I take solace in the little things I can do and hope that at some point in the future, I will be able to do the other things I dream of doing for my community.